The road is not a pretty place; Tour Is Hell collects your favorite bands' war stories, some of which make Cormac McCarthy look like Dr. Seuss. Today, we get in the van with Cody Johnston of Austin hard rock "vibe tribe" Sweat Lodge.

What album can everyone agree on in the van?
Dwight Yoakam. If you are driving, you get to DJ. We pretty much all like the same stuff.

What’s the strangest gig you’ve ever played?
Marfa, TX, with Krystal Funk. It was a dog's birthday party, and Kevin Bacon was there.

Did you get to meet Kevin Bacon? Is that the biggest celeb who's ever been at one of your shows?
We did meet Kevin Bacon. He came in right when we finished our set. He talked to us about his son's band. He was a nice guy and definitely the biggest celeb at a show of ours.

Did you play the dog "Happy Birthday"?
We did not play the dog "Happy Birthday," but they had birthday hats on.

Tell us about your biggest onstage clusterfuck.
[I] caught Shock's [Austin Shockley] bass between the eyes and had blood pouring down [my] face for the last two songs.

Describe your craziest afterparty.
Went to a friend's house and they were breaking shit with a sledgehammer and setting off fireworks inside the house.

How do you deal with going days or even weeks without a shower?
Baby wipes. Dryer sheets in the van.

Be it an accident, crazy fan or place to crash, what’s your scariest experience on the road?
We played a show, a fight broke out afterwards, the bartender was breaking glass. We didn't know where the promoter was for a long time, and were worried he ran off with the money, but it worked out.

What’s your universal must-go restaurant or road stop?
Buc-ee's gas stations and Chipotle.

What are the virtues of Buc-ee's vs., say, a Sunoco?
Buc-ee's has everything you need: Topo Chico, snacks, deli food, and it's ridiculously huge. We did just go to Wawa for the first time, and it was pretty cool.

Who drives the most and least, and why?
[Drummer] Caleb [Dawson], since he is on the insurance and is a road dog 100 percent.

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
Thirty-hour drive from Vancouver to Denver.

How do you try to stay healthy on the road?
Emergen-C packets, Kombuchas, eating at grocery stores for the fresh fruits and salads, staying hydrated, and smoke some, etc.

How do you amuse yourself on long stretches with nothing to do?
iPhone games, watching Rangers games, wiffle ball, silence.

How do you like the Rangers' odds in the postseason this year?
I like the Rangers' chances a lot. The lineup is deep one through nine, and the bench is great. The starting rotation has as good a one-two punch as anyone with Cole Hamels and Yu Darvish. And we have lockdown power arms in the bullpen. Plus, we just play with an edge, never ever quit.

What do you argue about the most?
We try not to argue, but it happens sometimes. It's good to let it slide and move on. We've all known each other a long time.

Sweat Lodge's debut full-length, Talismana, is out now on Brutal Panda (with a new EP due out later this year).