The Ouroboros of Self-Indulgence: We Live-Reviewed the New Danzig Album

There is no disputing it — Danzig made some of the greatest LPs of the past 30 years, hands down. Between the Misfits, Samhain and his early solo work, the man blazed trails and helped define the genre of heavy music while never compromising his own vision. Danzig is a legend, and anytime his new work starts to surface, it's usually worth a listen. That's why CLRVYNT has collectively gathered to talk about Black Laden Crown, his new LP, out today. Here is our review, written live, and as we heard it for the first time according to John Hill, Andrew Bonazelli, Fred Pessaro (jackpotplus) and Joe Divita of Loudwire.

1) "BLACK LADEN CROWN"

abonazelli [11:46 AM]
this sucks. 43 minutes to go.

jackpotplus [11:46 AM]
I'm a sucker for the dueling lead thing, ala Thin Lizzy

johnxhill [11:46 AM]
Really hoping the entire song is just this one riff.

jackpotplus [11:46 AM]
lol

johnxhill [11:46 AM]
Nearly a minute in, it might just be.

[11:46]
Is that a ghost singing?

jackpotplus [11:46 AM]
HOLY HIGH VOCALS IN THE MIX

abonazelli [11:47 AM]
one of my eight bathroom breaks coming right up, enjoy guys!

jackpotplus [11:47 AM]
lol

johnxhill [11:47 AM]
Not only are the vocals super high in the mix, it sounds like they were recorded in a straight up coffin

[11:47]
Are these gang vocals with himself?

jackpotplus [11:47 AM]
I think so

[11:48]
I think that the older he gets, the more he tends to warble

johnxhill [11:48 AM]
Hard to tell whether Danzig won't let people sing with him, or that no one wants to sing with Danzig.

jackpotplus [11:48 AM]
he's like Bob Dylan + Vlad Dracul

johnxhill [11:48 AM]
This sounds like the opening to the worst horror movie ever.

jackpotplus [11:49 AM]
I get it. Whoa-oh-oh

abonazelli [11:49 AM]
fresh step or tidy cats? i say fresh step all the way

jackpotplus [11:49 AM]
Which is the one that clumps shits

[11:49]
May need a lot of those

abonazelli [11:49 AM]
tommy victor on the solo i think

[11:49]
snap ya neck

jackpotplus [11:49 AM]
Actual hard jam

johnxhill [11:50 AM]
If there's one thing Misfits desperately needed, it was sick solos

jackpotplus [11:50 AM]
ok this breakdown I can get with

abonazelli [11:50 AM]
i'm awake now

jackpotplus [11:50 AM]
took 4+ mins, but now Im down

johnxhill [11:50 AM]
Two step! This is for the kids that got dragged to the show by their parents.

jackpotplus [11:50 AM]
more repetition though?

johnxhill [11:51 AM]
I wonder where Danzig stands on crowdkilling.

2) "EYES RIPPING FIRE"

abonazelli [11:51]
johnny kelly of type o is on this album

johnxhill [11:52 AM]
That explains a lot

abonazelli [11:52 AM]
i'm just going to add meaningless personnel facts i found on wiki from here on out

jackpotplus [11:52 AM]
Type O feel to this one

[11:52]
Ok, into it

[11:52]
hard riff, vocals too high

abonazelli [11:53 AM]
woof that iso vocal

johnxhill [11:53 AM]
Grandpa go home

[11:53]
To be fair, I feel like if you had some screamy 19 year old on vox, it could pass for any local hardcore opener's song and be just fine.

abonazelli [11:54 AM]
he's 61

jackpotplus [11:54 AM]
that chorus ruins this song for me

[11:54]
I was stoked on this before

johnxhill [11:54 AM]
Rick Rubin should rehab Danzig like he did Johnny Cash.

abonazelli [11:55 AM]
when they start making american pie-style direct-to-dvd hangover sequels, the soundtrack is SET

[11:55]
good dissolve

[11:55]
merciful dissolve

johnxhill [11:55 AM]
How much does it cost to license out a Danzig solo song for a movie? Like, a burger and a bus pass?

jackpotplus [11:55 AM]
lol

3) "DEVIL ON HWY 9"

jackpotplus [11:56 AM]
holy mastering

abonazelli [11:56 AM]
this is the first single

[11:56]
and last

johnxhill [11:56 AM]
Love when no two songs sound the same

[11:56]
This would've been way harder without the solo.

jackpotplus [11:56 AM]
This sounds like an edgier Load-era Metallica

[11:56]
I dig it though

[11:57]
yeah, 100% agree... would have been harder for sure

[11:57]
Still, kinda OK

johnxhill [11:57 AM]
Wooooooooooo

jackpotplus [11:57 AM]
OK vocals too high

johnxhill [11:57 AM]
There's no way Danzig drives over 50 MPH on the highway.

jackpotplus [11:57 AM]
he has a driver for that

abonazelli [11:58 AM]
what is his net worth, according to celebrity net worth?

jackpotplus [11:58 AM]
Ooooo no idea

[11:58]
$5M

abonazelli [11:58 AM]
not bad

jackpotplus [11:58 AM]
I just made that up

abonazelli [11:58 AM]
6.5

johnxhill [11:58 AM]
6.5 million. Looks like Jerry's still getting the Misfits merch cut exclusively.

jackpotplus [11:58 AM]
dude, thats a lot of Misfits Uggs

johnxhill [11:59 AM]
These mosh parts are pretty sick tbh

jackpotplus [11:59 AM]
there are legit killer parts in here

johnxhill [11:59 AM]
This would've been a servicable beatdown record if Danzig wasn't dracula.

abonazelli [11:59 AM]
dirk from soilwork also drums on this

4) "LAST RIDE"

abonazelli [12:00]
the album that is he and johnny 2 of 4 drummers

[12:00]
i like the finger snaps

jackpotplus [12:00 PM]
She Rides is one of the best Danzig songs of all time

abonazelli [12:00 PM]
not embarrassing so far

jackpotplus [12:00 PM]
those snaps are interesting

johnxhill [12:00 PM]
The whole record probably should've sounded like this

[12:01]
....nevermind.

abonazelli [12:01 PM]
chorus vox mixed amazingly on EVERY SONG

jackpotplus [12:01 PM]
I like this sort of electric goth blues

johnxhill [12:01 PM]
Who would've thought Marilyn Manson would've been a better goth than Danzig.

abonazelli [12:01 PM]
electrocreep goth blues 2000

johnxhill [12:02 PM]
These songs are way too long

abonazelli [12:02 PM]
looking forward to the next song under four minutes. oh wait...

jackpotplus [12:02 PM]
The thing is that all of these songs have super sick elements in them

abonazelli [12:03 PM]
he self-produces, right?

jackpotplus [12:03 PM]
but its like a car when you fix thing, something else dies

johnxhill [12:03 PM]
Goth cock rock

jackpotplus [12:03 PM]
Let's be real, for a 61Yo dude... hes one bad motherfucker

[12:03]
straight up

[12:03]
but yeah... overwrought

abonazelli [12:03 PM]
he's not gonna beat you up @jackpotplus

[12:03]
maybe

johnxhill [12:04 PM]
Does he still lift?

abonazelli [12:04 PM]
merciful dissolve 2

joe_divita [12:04 PM]
joined by invitation from @jackpotplus

johnxhill [12:04 PM]
These fadeouts man

5) "THE WITCHING HOUR"

jackpotplus [12:04 PM]
<joe is listening in>

abonazelli [12:05 PM]
i clamor for THE LUNCH HOUR

jackpotplus [12:05 PM]
D R A M A

joe_divita [12:05 PM]
what track are you on so i can keep pace?

abonazelli [12:05 PM]
5

jackpotplus [12:05 PM]
just started 5

abonazelli [12:05 PM]
it'll be tough to keep pace

[12:05]
most uptempo album of all time

johnxhill [12:05 PM]
If the vocals were mixed better, this might've been kind of sick

abonazelli [12:05 PM]
i like this arpeggio though

jackpotplus [12:05 PM]
do you think that Danzig cries

[12:06]
he almost sounded like he was crying there

[12:06]
what makes him cry?

joe_divita [12:06 PM]
KANG WOFEs don't cry

jackpotplus [12:06 PM]
"I lost my Necronomicon"

[12:06]
"Where is my cod piece"

abonazelli [12:06 PM]
when henry's in a pissy mood at dinner

jackpotplus [12:06 PM]
<insert cat joke>

joe_divita [12:07 PM]
who has a clock with military time?

[12:07]
strikes 18?

jackpotplus [12:07 PM]
lol

[12:07]
thats Rollins influence

[12:07]
1800 Hours

johnxhill [12:07 PM]
Danzig needs an intervention to tell him to stop self-producing

abonazelli [12:07 PM]
three minutes to go!

jackpotplus [12:08 PM]
in THIS song

abonazelli [12:08 PM]
i wonder what'll happen in this bridge

johnxhill [12:08 PM]
Who the fuck listens to Danzig for sick solos? Is there a target audience I'm unaware of?

jackpotplus [12:08 PM]
this is an album of half solos

johnxhill [12:08 PM]
Who is the ideal Danzig fan?

abonazelli [12:08 PM]
garfield

jackpotplus [12:08 PM]
someone who wears a bib to dinner

abonazelli [12:09 PM]
one and the same

[12:09]
they hate mondays

jackpotplus [12:09 PM]
Danzig loves Lasagna though

[12:09]
you just know it

[12:09]
who doesnt

[12:09]
its literally the tightest meal

abonazelli [12:09 PM]
yeah, gotta get on that before it's 100 degrees out

[12:09]
three solos one cup

jackpotplus [12:09 PM]
If I could eat Lasagna and listen to Danzig II, its like the best day

johnxhill [12:09 PM]
Is that what he demanded before he went on at FFF Fest?

joe_divita [12:10 PM]
going to re-read garfield comics with danzig as substitute

jackpotplus [12:10 PM]
French Onion soup, also tight

[12:10]
HELLA cheese

johnxhill [12:10 PM]
Jon Arbuckle as Henry Rollins, Odie as Doyle

6) "BUT A NIGHTMARE"

abonazelli [12:10 PM]
Danzig as Nermal

joe_divita [12:11 PM]
would've been content if the album just faded out from track 5 for another 30 mins

abonazelli [12:11 PM]
LOL

jackpotplus [12:11 PM]
artistic choice there @joe_divita

[12:11]
daddy like

abonazelli [12:11 PM]
nobody gonna hack at low hanging fruit of this song title, huh?

jackpotplus [12:11 PM]
as always, Im like "promising" at first

[12:11]
then Im like no

[12:11]
too easy @abonazelli

johnxhill [12:11 PM]
No way Fred doesn't like these chugs

jackpotplus [12:12 PM]
im actully down with all jud-juds you know that

[12:12]
its the Earth Crisis- Firestorm in me

johnxhill [12:12 PM]
The worst part of me wants to see Type O Negative reform with Danzig as the new singer.

jackpotplus [12:13 PM]
pack your bags John

[12:13]
no longer welcome here

johnxhill [12:13 PM]
Also I never want to hear another guitar solo again.

abonazelli [12:13 PM]
i heard a pinch harmonic somewhere a couple seconds ago or something where am i

joe_divita [12:13 PM]
fred, you'd balk at hearing glenn sing i like goils?

jackpotplus [12:13 PM]
I want to go on record and say, I think this record is kind of OK-good without all those damn solos and

johnxhill [12:13 PM]
I mean to be fair, Type O is probably the newest band Danzig listens to

jackpotplus [12:14 PM]
the high vocals

[12:14]
Isnt that what he usually does @joe_divita

[12:14]
also, did you guys hear that last "Yeah?"

[12:14]
sounded like someone stepped on a cat

abonazelli [12:14 PM]
to be fair, NOBODY deals well with compacted poop

joe_divita [12:14 PM]
i've heard no words about shit-tongued boys in danzig's material

abonazelli [12:15 PM]
the next song title lol

jackpotplus [12:15 PM]
So good

joe_divita [12:15 PM]
hey, if pantera contributed a song to spongebob, glenn can put skulls and daisies on the grim aventures of billy and mandy or some shit

7) "SKULLS AND DAISIES"

johnxhill [12:15 PM]
The only patterned skirts I buy at Hot Topic.

jackpotplus [12:15 PM]
It's like Guns n Roses but harder

[12:15]
fuck you Axl

abonazelli [12:16 PM]
push the little daisies and make 'em yyyeeeeAAAAAHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAH

jackpotplus [12:16 PM]
again, vocals ruined

joe_divita [12:16 PM]
this is the same cadence as do you wear the mark

abonazelli [12:16 PM]
3:58 runtime, fuck yes

johnxhill [12:16 PM]
Guess it's the other single

jackpotplus [12:16 PM]
To anyone who thinks that music journalism is easy, GFY

johnxhill [12:16 PM]
All the kids are gonna be requesting this on KROQ for sure.

abonazelli [12:16 PM]
seriously

[12:17]
did his fans like or not like when he did "can't speak"? i need a consensus before i weigh in

jackpotplus [12:17 PM]
ok, Im starting to depart from all of this goodwill from earlier

joe_divita [12:17 PM]
is he trying to go an entire song without his lips touching when he sings?

johnxhill [12:17 PM]
Also, we haven't discussed this but the album art is like if you asked a 13 year old boy what to put on a metal cover.

abonazelli [12:18 PM]
the coolest 13 yo boy

joe_divita [12:18 PM]
can't speak (and all of d4) :+1::skin-tone-2:

abonazelli [12:18 PM]
thank you

johnxhill [12:18 PM]
This song makes me want to do pushups.

joe_divita [12:18 PM]
little whip? ooooh yeah

johnxhill [12:18 PM]
So I can go beat up Danzig.

abonazelli [12:18 PM]
north side john UNDEFEATED

jackpotplus [12:18 PM]
This makes me want to listen to Sade (edited)

joe_divita [12:19 PM]
skeletons 2: smooth operator

abonazelli [12:19 PM]
i think i'm going back to letters to cleo after this, see where it takes me

jackpotplus [12:19 PM]
We should curate our own duets LP

[12:19]
Sade and Glenn Danzig

8) "BLACKNESS FALLS"

johnxhill [12:20 PM]
Can you imagine if the dude who knocked out Danzig in 04 was wearing an American Psycho shirt?

joe_divita [12:20 PM]
shoulder shaker riff

jackpotplus [12:20 PM]
cool riff

[12:20]
yeah

joe_divita [12:20 PM]
for dancing below the chin and above the chest ONLY

abonazelli [12:20 PM]
coming this summer to netflix, john stamos and kim cattrall in BLACKNESS FALLS

jackpotplus [12:20 PM]
lol

johnxhill [12:20 PM]
ahahaa

jackpotplus [12:21 PM]
whats with the sexy whisper

[12:21]
he sounds like spaceballs

[12:21 PM]
"NOBODY KNOWWSSSS"

[12:21]
ugh that note

[12:21]
yikes

[12:21]
also, this one is mastered weird too

[12:21]
sounds like he's singing in a tin can

joe_divita [12:22 PM]
and like he's using a 12 page rhyming dictionary

johnxhill [12:22 PM]
This album just leads me to believe Glenn invited his buds over and just kept asking "hey can you play me a sick solo? Thanks bro"

joe_divita [12:22 PM]
unabridged

jackpotplus [12:22 PM]
here's sex-pot Danzig

[12:22]
"No its fine, keep playing"

johnxhill [12:22 PM]
Danzig Fucks

[12:22]
This guy fucks.

abonazelli [12:22 PM]
i liked the rubin idea though. for real, who could tarantino his career?

[12:22]
thank you jared

jackpotplus [12:23 PM]
I think that if he got with Justin from EWizard

[12:23]
that would be ill

[12:23]
the production though... thats the weakest thing here

abonazelli [12:23 PM]
they would totally get along lol

jackpotplus [12:23 PM]
lol im sure

[12:24]
this is too hard guys I cant

abonazelli [12:24 PM]
what's more self-indulgent: the album or this review?

johnxhill [12:24 PM]
Danzig.

[12:24]
The answer is always Danzig.

jackpotplus [12:24 PM]
its the ouroboros of self-indulgence

abonazelli [12:24 PM]
this

[12:25]
45 second dissolve, love it

jackpotplus [12:25 PM]
last motherfucking song

9) "PULL THE SUN"

abonazelli [12:25]
i can't wait to smoke... and extinguish it on both eyes

jackpotplus [12:25 PM]
this last 10 seconds of unnecessary silence

[12:25]
lol

abonazelli [12:25 PM]
wait, ears

jackpotplus [12:25 PM]
sounds like vintage COC

[12:25]
that riff

abonazelli [12:25 PM]
not bad

jackpotplus [12:26 PM]
fuck

[12:26]
the vocal, again

johnxhill [12:26 PM]
Pepper Keenan could never pull off those sick vocals tho

jackpotplus [12:26 PM]
he can sing! He has riffs! Just stop with that mix

[12:26]
sounds kind of close to Stone the Crow

[12:26]
I bet that was in the back of their minds

abonazelli [12:27 PM]
this is totally okay

[12:27]
makes you wanna revisit the whole thing, right?

johnxhill [12:27 PM]
Always save your most okay song for last.

jackpotplus [12:27 PM]
yep! LETS DO IT AGAIN

[12:27]
You guys do it again

[12:27]
report back to me please

[12:28]
might need a 3rd or a 4th to really get it

abonazelli [12:28 PM]
too much to ask for a two minute long fade-out-then-back-in

johnxhill [12:28 PM]
Imagine knowingly and willingly spending actual, real currency, on purchasing a vinyl of this.

abonazelli [12:29 PM]
i am

[12:29]
now imagining lasagna

[12:29]
with bib

[12:29]
mmmm

jackpotplus [12:29 PM]
lol

abonazelli [12:29 PM]
moist towelette

johnxhill [12:29 PM]
$18 could get you way more lasagna.

jackpotplus [12:29 PM]
the biggest bummer is that, honestly, this isnt THAT bad. All things considered it could be a lot worse

abonazelli [12:29 PM]
Lucifuge IX: Unlimited Breadsticks

[12:30]
allllllllmost there

joe_divita [12:31 PM]
its better than deth red saboath

johnxhill [12:31 PM]
Take us home, you beautiful fade out.

jackpotplus [12:31 PM]
I need some lasagna