So, the ever weird, newly appointed White House counselor to the president — and Trump's former campaign manager — Kellyanne Conway, stated on Saturday that the new White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, had presented “alternative facts” when he falsely stated that Trump’s swearing-in ceremony drew “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration.”

"Alternative facts" WTF?! Where most folks come from, facts are, in fact, facts! There's no alternative to a fact.

We here at CLRVYNT thought to ourselves, if we do somehow believe in the notion of alt-facts, then we must reconsider the history of music as well. Please give some hard thought to these 30 alternative facts:

  1. Metallica's ...And Justice for All has way too much bass.
  2. Gene Simmons ain't in it for the money.
  3. Maiden should have just kept Blaze Bayley.
  4. Those classical ambient Burzum albums are bangers.
  5. Dave Mustaine finally seems to have gotten over his bitterness with regard to getting booted from Metallica.
  6. It's so great that GN'R is back together!
  7. Mötley Crüe truly hit their stride with Generation Swine.
  8. Grave New World is the greatest Discharge album.
  9. Sex Pistols' second album should have been bigger.
  10. Phil Anselmo's tunes about racial harmony are where he really shines.
  11. There's nothing silly about Amon Amarth.
  12. A Day to Remember is hard as fuck!
  13. Rick Allen's newfound juggling career will be spectacular.
  14. Sepultura: WAY better without Max!
  15. New Tool album out soon.
  16. The production on those Darkthrone albums is SO GOOD!
  17. Judas Priest's Turbo: banger!
  18. Kingdom Come sounded nothing like Led Zeppelin.
  19. Ozzy never really needed that ghost vocalist he used while performing live.
  20. Madball's strong point is subtlety.
  21. Udo Dirkschneider is tall and handsome.
  22. Butcher Babies: all about the music.
  23. The drama surrounding the rights to the name Ratt is really interesting to fans.
  24. Lars Ulrich would be a fabulous drum teacher.
  25. Former W.A.S.P. axeman Chris Holmes' new reality show should premiere to huge ratings.
  26. Cannibal Corpse is a great soundtrack for hot yoga.
  27. Saxon is a good-looking bunch.
  28. Rap-metal: brilliant idea!
  29. 25 ta Life has a bright future.
  30. Everyone loves Hellyeah.